Every Theory Pasta Ever

Hello.
You know that time when you once thought you were gay? Think about it.
You never actually were gay. You just thought. And that is the key.
You see, researches in the neuroscience department of the Cambridgeford MIT University discovered a weird phenomenon.
Homosexuality is associated with hyperactivity in the K:11—6DK5,1,5TY receptors of the hippocampus maximosum. When sufficient amounts of a chemical Benzomethylisohosphate-57, whose effects were replicated by the cosmic ray Alpha-Sigma-Sigma class 1 quasi-gamma ray stimulate the receptors, it can cause gayness.
Do you see now? Bananas are actually demon penises. None of us are safe.